Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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