i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
