Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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