I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
