I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
