All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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