I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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