what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
