i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
