google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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