Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
