I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
