I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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