Where are you?
In a non slutty way
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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