At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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