I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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