i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
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