Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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