I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
