It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
