try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
