I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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