you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
