just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
