I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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