apparently the secret to your success is patron
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
