You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
