Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize