Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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