yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize