Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
