1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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