I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
