How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
