I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
