like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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