Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
