My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
