Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on