I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.