Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
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