My cat gives me a boner
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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