i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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