Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
