hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
