omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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