i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize