yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
