We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We got so high we made milksteak
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
