I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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