How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
