We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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