i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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