My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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