Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
