I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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