I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
