direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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