I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
