you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
