So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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