Small penises have feelings too.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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