what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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